aggravatedhooliganism:

Captain Steven Hiller: [talking to the unconscious alien he’s dragging] Y’know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin’ your heavy ass through the burnin’ desert with your dreadlocks stickin’ out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin’ all big and bad…

[yells]  and what the hell is that smell?
[starts kicking the alien, yelling]

I could’ve been at a barbecue!
[kicks the alien one last time and calms down]

But I ain’t mad.

(via thestoutorialist)